Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Love.....


Through out my life I have had to hear as must have everyone else...I am sure....."become a mother and then you will know....".
And I would wonder... Good lord! .... The list of things I will get to know once I become a mother .. is growing longer and longer...
My mother loved... emotionally blackmailing me....by saying..."Jokhon tumi ma hobe..... tokhon tumi bujhte paarbe...( when you will become a mom yourself ..then you will begin to realise ../understand) " with tears in her eyes.... sometimes even in fits of anger .
I am a mother today.... and yes I have started realising a lot of things..... that I didnt realise earlier. One such thing... is an emotion......that of- LOVE.....unconditional love!
I have had to get a million medical tests done all my life.... so the sight and prick of the needle is something I am immune to...My mother could never go with me for my tests.... she would drive me there and then sit in the car or in the waiting room... I would find her quite silly and would tell her this everytime ....and you guessed right .. I had to hear the famous line.... " when you become......" everytime.
Just recently when I was in labour giving birth to my child...my mum was with me initially and then... refused to enter the labour room and cried buckets and kept praying for me outside.... I over heard her tell some one .. that it was the most painful experience of her life... much more painful than the two deliveries she has had.....
She said something that I will never forget.. she said..." when someone is in pain and cries out asking for help from someone..... it is usually for his/her mother... the cries can be in any language....in Bengali.,Hindi, English, Tamil, etc ...like when I cried out...I kept calling for my mother.."
Last week... I took my lil son for his first check up to the hospital... and the doc there needed to burst a lil puss boil on his chest. He assured me that it would be painless for the baby.... but I just couldn't look......It is true the needle didn't hurt my baby... but he sensed something and yelled.... and his cries.... though not audible as yet.... sounded like ....."Maaaaaaaaa"...I did feel my heart break.....and did feel tears rolling down my cheeks immediately....
The feeling a mother and as a matter of fact even a father gets when their child immediately stops crying when they are picked up by their parents.... all you have to do is hold them to your chest and whisper into its ear and they start purring instead of crying....is simply amazing
Our baby keeps us awake all night sometimes....and we are ready to climb the wall.... but the next morning... one toothless smile...is all it takes for us to forget the previous traumatic night....
The first time my baby put its lil fingers around my lil finger......don't think I will ever forget that moment.
My baby was born after 22 hours of labour... and so once everything was fine the doc decided to keep the baby in the nursery for monitorring for 24 hours.. and also said that I should be given the much needed rest I deserved. At that moment I was relieved for the rest.... but I also woke up The Husband at 4 am and demanded to be taken to the nursery to see my child.
When I heard that the Husband had held our child before I had.... I was so jealous.... and since .... the baby was kept under observation .. I couldnt hold it for more than 24 hours..... I almost went into depression. Thank god .... he was given to me before I broke down.
My baby is now 13 days old .. and I have already learnt/understood a lot of new things.... which I wouldn't have understood earlier......
Motherhood....does make you see things differently.

3 comments:

noon said...

Congratulations on your little one! It is indeed a lot of joy! I was not feeling a lot of the emotions people often describe soon after they deliver the baby. I was happy but not overwhelmed by emotion. But spending more and more time with the baby after getting back home, it is true - one really feels overwhelmed by emotion at times. My first blog was on unconditional love from a child! I really feel like what you get from an infant is untainted pure love. Even more than what you feel for the child. I too found it very hard to be around when my baby got his first shots. My husband and the nurse held him during his shots.
Also hats off to you on taking up the teaching profession - saw that on mad momma's post on teaching.

the mad momma said...

hmm.... glad i read this after yesterday's ranting about throwing him out of the balcony... :D

and hey.. you two make great parents... i hope you know that...

nilendu said...

I was on a phone call with my wife and she reported that she "howled" while reading this post. Well, that she howls is pretty common (I mean with 'selective' movies and books she chooses)- but this is the first time she reported it with a blog! Seriously, this was a good post.