Update on Joy

This is a quick update for all family and friends who keep asking about Joy and his progress...
well.. He is now about 9 kgs in weight...he can sit straight by him self...

Sitting up straight

is trying to crawl properly... not totally mastered it yet... but can swim on his chest ....and his latest is a frog leap.... and boy!! is he quick...

He crawled off the mattress

He likes to stand holding on to either someone or something....

Standing up in his cot

He is teething like no ones business... drool happenning all over.....everything and anything goes straight into his mouth...

Drooling all over the place....lil Napoleon

His hair has increased in length... as in he is still pretty bald.. but whatever was there has grown....
His vocal chords are strong and he imitates any sounds you make...
He loves playing Tooki... as in Peeka boo....

Playing Tooki in the beanbag

He has started eating different kinds of food.. he enjoys his breakfast.....thats his favourite meal... it usually consists of a puree of bananas or strawberries or apple...sometimes all mixed up as well...
He loves his lunch, which is usually rice based... initially it was khichri...but now he prefers curd rice....
He snacks on cheese slices , boiled carrots and some digestive biscuits...
His dinner is usually a pish pash of veggies and rice...
If he is a good boy he gets .... some custard... he loves it.... :-)

Joy enjoys his time in the park..every evening at around 6 pm...he is put into his stroller and taken to the park.. he has a play date there with some friends....

With Leela in the Park

Playing with a friend

So ... Joy is doing good.... thanks for all the love, wishes and blessings everyone

Joy with his lil Drum

It's my choice...and am happy....

I haven't written for a while .. now... I keep planning to write ..but something or the other always seems to come up.... and I forget ....
I have been meaning to write on a particular issue for quite some time.... something I read on a friend's blog..got me all charged up.... I just had to write after that....
The issue is about Stay at Home Moms and Working Moms.....
I have been reading a lot on these topics lately and also sitting in on conversations and discussions.... I have worked non stop for 4 years ... and now since I have been pregnant with Joy I have been a SAHM.....
I stopped work in October 2005...actually even before I conceived Joy.. it wasn't planned .. it just happened... We had just moved and I was settling in to a new city and the month I started circulating my resume and scheduling meetings ..was also when I realised I was pregnant ..... hence work went onto a back burner coz I just felt it wouldn't be ethical to join a place and then go on maternity leave....( actually who would appoint a pregnant woman anyways....)

Ok.. to get back to the main topic... I now am home with Joy.... I enjoy my time with him... but I also enjoyed my time at work... I teach and so my work anyways entails interaction with children.....
The husband knows this and realises that even though I am enjoying my stint at home ... I am also looking forward to going back to work....
I keep reading about how moms are "sacrificing their lives " for their kids when they stay at home.....and also the flip side.. of how there are moms who feel guilty leaving their kids and going back to work.....

Everyone seems to be justifying their actions... Why?
If you are a SAHM .... you have chosen to be one.... If you are a working mom ... its coz you have chosen to be one... be it for some compulsions ... or whatever..... !!!!
Why does one need to justify their actions.... ? As long as the decision you have taken is yours and by yours I mean a family decision... no one needs to be given any reasons for it....

The husband and I from day one ..have known .. that I would go back to work in a year or so after our baby was born...
not for financial reasons.... (thank god.... for that....) it has never been a concern..we make do with what we have ... The husband and I have been sensible with our finances... Yes... we do splurge.. pretty often that too...but thats cos we want to....we both love food ... we love travelling and don't compromise on our budgets for that....we both love the good life....but we also know what we can do and what we cant.... for eg : we bought a small car... not coz we couldn't afford a big one.. but cos... we didnt need one at that point...we will now buy a bigger car... cos we need it... with a baby and his paraphenelia as well with me going back to work....its a necessity...
I will go back to work for myself.....I can hear people saying .."How selfish!!" Fine , think what you want to....It's my decision and I don't care what others think.....
I love my son... and I don't feel that by going back to work my love for him will become less or that by spending every hour with him will make him realise how much I love him.... I am sure he will love me and I him even if I went to work for 5-6 hours a day.... Someone said.. it was all ok for me .. as the work I did was just for half a day and not like others who have full 9-5 jobs... well.... it doesn't matter how many hours I work.... or stay at home.. as long as I can ensure that my child is in safe hands and happy ,I am fine....
My mom worked through out our childhood and still does...and I am glad she does..... I am sure I would have been glad even if she didn't.... It is completely her decision..
We never had problems with her working.... I sometimes .. hear my friends complain that they never saw their moms and that they were looked after by the servants...

Well.. my brother and I have always seen Mom going to work...but she was always there when we needed her....even if she wasn't there physically she could be contacted when ever required.. we too were left with servants... they were more like family members for us... some of them are still with the family and are actually looking after the next generation ..as in our kids now....

Another friend told me .. that by staying home .. she was ensuring that she would be there to watch her child take her first step.. or say her first words...I am home right now and Joy has started saying a few things... and let me tell you ... they have always been in front of someone else... when I have either gone to the loo or am on the phone....the first time he crawled was while we were on vacation...
So I guess its the way you look at things.....

If going to work is making me happy then in some way or the other it will make my child happy as well.... I have never come back from work in a bad mood... in fact I have always come home very very satisfied and rejuvenated.... and I think Joy will want a Mom who is in a good mood... and not a grouchy and irritable one .. like I am sometimes.. after a trying day with him....or after supervising the laundry and the cooking and the cleaning......
I have delegated all these tasks now.. so that they are all taken care off to my satisfaction and am very happy....

This brings me to another conversation I had with a few friends.... on how their husbands had put their careers on a slower pace just so that they could be with their kids for everything.... This is one thing which is very personal.....
The husband loves his job..... he too comes home after a full day of work... looking forward to the time he will spend with his wife and son.... His work makes him travel often....and I have never tried to put a stop to it .... if thats what his work entails ..then he has to travel....If his work makes him move cities ...then we will move with him till it becomes difficult...... before we got married ... I decided to change careers and chose to teach so that I could move with him whenever required.. I have never cribbed about what I had to do.. it was my decision....and am happy with it...
One of the reasons , we work is also to provide for a better future for our children... provide them with some kind of security ..our parents gave that security to us....made us stand on our own feet and then let us be..... we aim to try to do at least that.
I am always being told that the love and affection that a child gets from a mom who is home all the time is different... how so?
It's the way each of us perceive our roles as parents.... it's the way we want to bring up our child... it's our decision.....and that is that...!!!
The bottom line is that .... Its a personal choice.... to each their own.....you have made a choice ..be positive about that choice if its what you think is the best choice...
why the slanging match ? and
why the comparison ? and
why the debate?

Weekend trip

The weather was becoming horrid.... and I was at my wits end.... I hadn't had a total holiday for a while now.. almost a year....when the Husband and I went to this heritage hotel for a night and two days.... that was when I was preggy with Joy in my tummy...I htink it was around this time of the year as well...
Now, people look at me in amazement when I crib about not having a holiday.... coz everyone knows about my frequent trips to Kolkata... the Husbands family home.....
Yes... I have visited very often after Joy's birth... but those have been either a necessity as in some form of celebration or festivity....or to let Joy spend some time with his grandparents and great grand parents..... They have been very very pleasant..... but not really holidays... at least not for me.... I felt as thoughI was doing much more than how much I did at my own home..

Hence.. I used to crib.... and finaly... we did go for a break... albiet.. only for a long weekend... The good Friday-Easter weekend.. just gone by....

The Husband had wanted to surprise me by taking us for our Anniversary...but poor thing when he called to book.. he found them all booked up... but anyways... he managed to get us a lovely double suite for this weekend.. and yes ..WE WENT...!!!!






Joy and his Baba at a roadside Dhaba


We went to this small little principality.. called SURAJGARH.... its a lovely quaint little fortress.. as the management would have us beleive... but well its more like a Haveli...
nonetheless let me tell you more about our trip...



Surajgarh Fort

We left Delhi in our sweet Alto....with Joy in a borrowed Infant seat from another blogging friend and college mate.....he didnt really take to the infant seat very well...one because ..he has never sat in it before...two because.. it faces the rear window and not his parents..and three he is just a very naughty kid... however... we have to thank our friends for letting us borrow it.... it atleast gave us a break now and then..

The drive according to the brochure.. should have taken 3.5 hours.. but well we needed almost 5.5 hours..( yes...we did get lost but only for ten mins or so..). To give credit to the Haryana roadways and government... the roads from Gurgaon till Narnaul..were very good..... after Narnaul.. we moved into Rajasthan....and the road became miserable.....
So,.... we reached around lunch time.... and sat down after freshenning up ..and hogged.... Daal baati, churma....lal maans..... kheer
After that heavenly meal.. all the husband and I wanted to do was to curl into the very very inviting bed and sleep....but..... well it wasn't just the two of us anymore ..was it..???? NO siree.....
We had "our bundle of joy"...who refused to sleep himself and didn't let us sleep either... in the end.. we were sitting on two sides of the HUGE..read gigantic bed....trying to save him from falling off... Why???? Of all the places... he learnt to crawl HERE!!!!!!

Joy starts to crawl


Anyways... finally we made him get into his new lil trunks and tried to make him wear his floats ...ahem..!!! which were just too big.. they came till his fingers... much to the husbands relief.. who was looking very unhappy at being given the task 0f blowing air into them....so got saved...

Joy in the pool for the first time

Anyways.. our son loved the water.... he almost dived into the pool... we literally had to hold on to him for dear life.... he splashed around and was constantly moving his pudgy lil legs .....and kept giving the other older kids in the water these devilish grins....the lil girls were totally floored.. and all swam over to cooo over him.... I tell you .. kids nowadays... are born flirts...
Anyways after a while in the pool ,we yanked Joy out and he had his first shower with daddy and mommy.....actually he had his first every shower.. all this time it was a bath in a bathing chair and then funtime in his lil tub.... so he freaked out in the shower... almost started singing....

Sure enough after all this activity ..he fell asleep over his dinner and we were only too relieved... to lay him down on the bed and catch a breather ourselves...

Fast asleep......thank god!!!!

While we sat together and saw some TV and then wandered outside into the baithak area where there were nice straw tables and chairs laid out for a late evening tea.... we found ourselves discussing... the feasibility of brining along a maid with us the next time we venture out to such places... Now Joy is only 7 months old..and we were going mad... we could not visualise our state when he would be running around... and climbing into things and out of them.....That would be no holiday at all...



Joy and the armour suit


Now when I write this post I am suddenly reminded of my friend's post on their Mall experience with their two kids... one a few weeks old and one almost 2.... and how her husband had said .. very diplomatically that too... "It was a highly avoidable experience".....and how much I laughed 'coz I could visualise and even hear the two of them say that.... my friend was much more colourful in her description of the experience...though ..Ahem...!!
So by Day 1.5 of our holiday... The Husband and I were at a concensus.... NEXT.. time... either we leave JOY with either one of his ever loving Grandparents ..or we take the maid...!!!! Good....at least that is settled..



The Husband enjoying the fresh air ... Joy enjoying his Baba's jeans....

Anyways the next day... we lazed around... as in we tried to laze around... JOy was up at 6 am... so I took him outside to the Jharokhas.. where there were some other early risers.. who held out their arms to Joy and HE went... they were sweet ..and told me to go and rest they would take him around for a while... This was a sweet enthu cutlet auntie and her even more enthu family.... you know.. the types .one avoids on holidays.... but .. for once.. I was happy they were there... Joy went with them to the lawn... watched the family play cricket at 6 am... while I sat and had my morning cup of tea...and watched frmo the floor above and The husband... got to sleep for a while longer...about ..15 mins... it seems .. he just couldn't sleep after that... I think a routine has set in for us... we just can't sleep past 6.30 am even on a holiday... poor us..!!!


Joy watching the game at 6 am..

It seems Joy behaved like an angel with the Enthu cutlet family... the minute the husband went to get Joy back.. he growled at him and looked very upset....( Must also tell you ..that the Enthu cutlet family also asked the husband to join them in their game... LOL... can you imagine the Husbands expression.. he made some silly excuse..about feed time.. and ran for his life...)

Anyways.. we then rested ... ate the most gigantic breakfast of four egg omlettes... which were divine... and aloo paranthas... these were the options with fruit and cereal... we jumped the latter and hogged on amazing quantities of the former two.... couldn't even talk after the meal.... thank fully Joy also was a bit sleepy..so we all napped...
Woke up and took Joy for a pre lunch stroll... he didnt like it much cos... the sun was too strong.. and kept getting into his eyes.. and we refused to carry him ..so he was stuck in hs stroller...


Grumpy Joy

Then it was lunch time ...so we ate again..... then napped again....
then at around 5 pm... took Joy down to the Pool ... here again he enjoyed himself... and so did we...
After the swim we went down to join an activity organised by the hotel.. a camel cart ride.. through the little town... It was fun... JOY was quite taken in by this huge creature.. who kept making weird noises and peeing.....and crapping... and at the same time... took us for a very bone shaking ride through the town..


The Chaudhuris on a camel cart

We relaxed in the evening and watched a cultural show put up by the hotel.. there were fire eaters and blowers, dancers with multiple pots on their heads....lots of stuff....


Cultural Programme

The high point of the evening was our Enthu Cutlet Aunty...who appeared again and took over the show..she had decided that all the guests who were there needed to interact.. and that we must play some games together and even had some silly prizes... there were to be childrens games as well as games for the women and the men and again as couples...
The Husband... heard the plan and took refuge in the room...and tried to watch the match...and I was stuck with Joy outside...
Anyways... Joy fell asleep after a while and we ate a good wholesome dinner... the hotel had also put up a pasta station and some baked veggies to give everyone a change and the food was really good.
The next day....as usual we were up at 6 am.... fed Joy....put him to sleep for a short nap...ate a good brekker and were ready to leave...
The drive back was uneventful.... a quick stop for a cola...and then a diaper change pit stop...and we were already entering Gurgaon... We checked our watches and found we were back by 1 pm.. there was no lunch organised for us at home.. and it was amazing how both the husband and I looked at each other and said .. Al Kauser.. at the same time...we stopped picked up a few rolls.. and went straight home..

Joy was thrilled to see the maid and ate his lunch quietly and then started doing his "dushtumi"...we tried to put him to sleep.. but he just refused.... So then I called in reinforcements... the ever willing Mama and D'shona.. who it seems had missed Joy to bits..
My sweet brother picked up Joy and the maid and took them over ..while I slept and the husband relaxed...

Joy snacking on his moms cheeks

The holiday was a good break... we had a good time..despite the initial hiccups.... and now am raring to go on another one..
The one thing we missed on this vacation.. was more like minded company... it would have been lovely to relax in the evening over a drink with friends.. all worries over... kids put sleep... peace and good adda...
So thats my next project... to mobilize our group of friends and plan another trip like this one... somewhere not to far.... reasonable.. and a relaxing holiday.....

Gandhi giri

The first film we saw with Joy was Lage Raho Munna Bhai...and loved the Gandhigiri bit....

This is our tribute to The Mahatama and ....ahem !!!Munna Bhai



See no Evil




Hear no Evil



Speak no Evil