Monday, March 26, 2007


Joy and I at his Kolkata Party


Everyday.. I look down at my son and marvel at what perfect little creation he is ....

I say it aloud... and am rebuked by my mother who says I shouldn't say anything too good about him.. as "Nozor lege jaabe...." and proceeds to spit over his head or if by chance he has a bout of sneezees... or coughing.... she makes the maid burn some Lonkas ( Chillis) on the tava over the flame... to "cataoe the nozor"( change the evil eye)......

All this makes me look with amazement and shock at my mother ...who isn't from the boon docks.... as one in today's world would think she is from when they read this....but a very highly educated woman... an individual of repute in her own right... a University Professor...a writer.........when I confronted her with all these weird beliefs and practises... she had just one answer..... "I am Joy's grandmother...his D'shona.... . I will do whatever I can to protect him from evil....so what if you find them weird.." Well !! what does one say to that....?

This is something I have always wondered.... How can a mother's or for that matter even any parent's "nozor" be harmful to their child....? After all if we don't look out for our child then who will...If we don't admire our creation.....then no one has the right to do so either.....Why is it that when someone gets married in Bengali tradition .. the mother of neither the groom nor the bride attend the basic religious ceremony.....? Would any parent want to miss such a momentous occasion in the lives of their children...? Your child is going to be starting a new phase in his/her life....don't you want to be there to encourage and cheer them on... if not to bless them...?
Now I will not say that I only admire my son or only talk about him being amazingly amazing.....and beautiful..... I also am the first to criticise him... When he spits in my face.... when he refuses to eat.. when he yells for no reason...when he does what he is shown not to do.... I am the first one to tell him he isn't doing the right thing.... he isn't being a good boy ..or whatever....Surprisingly .. even then... I am told that I shouldn't tell him off... as that too is "nozor"..VERY STRANGE!!!

So basically, a parent isn't supposed to say anything ...good or bad about her/his child....However I think ..actually am sure this rule holds good for only the initial years , because I am positive that when the child grows up.. and misbehaves... the parents will be blamed for his/her indiscipline and rude behaviour....


Anyways.... I am a proud parent and want to show off... here are some Photographs of Joy.... see them and agree with me....



Joy in December..Yes!!! he had declared summer




Joy doing "Dushtumi"




And more "dushtumi"



Playing in his Play Gym.



P.S......I do put a Nozor teep on his forehead... Just in case... you never know.. Na?

12 comments:

dreamygirl said...

Hi
Came here thru MM's blog. My grandma used to do the same thing with us after every festival/get together type things. We were expected to be quiet till she completes. After eating so much sweets ... no way! So we would nudge eachother and giggle and get such stern looks from her...it was worth it :)
Joy is adorable...and I am touching wood...so hopefully no "nozor"

Housewife Blues said...

Hey Tina!

Even I don't understand this nozor theory :-S Joy looks realllyyyy chweet and has a million dollar smile( ok thu thu fying this side) so that nozor na lage lol.

The Mad Momma said...

helloo..i am the proud mother-in-law-to-be of that gorgeous child!!!
yeah.. the nazar thing leaves me confused too... i let others do it.. but i still cant get myself to do it...

Sameer said...

hhmm .. interesting stuff ... just for general gyaan : there are no restrictions on the groom's mother attending any of the wedding functions. As for the bride's mother .. In the olden days, when child marriages were common, it was not unusual for a pre-teen girl to be married off to a man in his forties or even fifties. In such cases the bride's mother (herself no older than the mid-twenties or early thirties) was asked to stay away from the ceremonies that the groom attended so that there wouldn't be a situation where the middle-aged groom fell in love with his (in the prime of her life) mother-in-law and asked for her hand instead ... anyway .. don't worry sis .. lil dijjay's gonne be just fine ..

Trishna Chaudhuri said...

Dreamygirl, Housewife blues and Mad Momma.... Thanks....
Mad Momma... you beware... they might not let you attend the wedding if we go by what Sameer says.. and hey since when did... Sameer.. become such an authority on bengali Hindu traditions.. am impressed.. but lil correction there lil bro...the grooms mom doesnt attend as well.. at least mine didnt.. go ask mom...

Dipta Chaudhuri said...

Very informative comment by Mr Guha. I think I buy his comments totally.

And it is either 'nazar' (Hindi way) or 'nojor' (Bong way). Nozor is neither here nor there!

Trishna Chaudhuri said...

Dipta : Shut up!!

Ardra said...

saw them and agree with you totally, completely and wholly! and as I say this I break my knuckles to a resounding crackle to ward off evil eye- just to be on the safe side- :-)

btw, am a regular here and at the Calcutta chromosome page. Only thing being I arrive very late to the party and by then everything to be said would've been said and so I leave no footprints.
There was this time when I tramped right into Diptas page, read that Kunal Kapoor ( Shashi Kapoor's son )had done no movies and I was bristling with excitement to show off my knowledge that he had actually acted in Ahista Ahista and Kalyug (old) ony to find that I was just a few months late in imparting enlightenment. :-(

Ardra said...

and just a minute, your post abt your dad was very moving...
take care

B o o said...

Hi Trishna, Your son IS perfect. He looks beautiful! *Now I ll remove my own nazar!*
My mom told me that she was never allowed to praise her children before her mom and now shes having her hearts content with my daughter. We dont know whether we ll be around to do that for our grand children so we as well do it now with our kids! ;)
And I have linked you here. indianmommies.blogspot.com.
Hope its ok.

SS said...

Hi .. Joy looks adorable .. the pic of you both is really sweet too .. knock wood :-)
At my place too, we believe in nazar or evil eye a great deal .. so I can understand where your mom is coming from ... after all, we all feel superstitous about the good things in our life, right?!!

I really enjoyed your blog .. I love Kolkata .. Bengali literature, movies and the language .. and your blog has such a Bong flavor that I am hooked!
Am linking you to my blog, hope you don't mind? Cheers! :-)

The Mad Momma said...

the groom's mother didnt attend because in those days you travelled far by road to get to the girl's place.. and by the time you got back it would be almost a week or ten days.. so the groom's mother stayed home to get the house organised to greet the new bahu... i have this on good authority..