Friday, March 23, 2007

yeh..kya hua ?

Yesterday..I was home alone... the husband ..at work and the maid and lil Joy at my mum's place... spending the day....so I got a few hours to myself... to organise my life a bit at home... rest and sit alone with a book( The Namesake....wanted to read it before I saw the film) and a cup of tea....
It was heaven.....!!!

However....I also got some time to sit and just think....think about how life has changed and how priorities have changed....and how we had changed....

Life.... for starters...had changed .... We were not just the two of us anymore... We were the three of us... we were a family....Our day started much earlier than it did earlier and never seemed to end.... what with night feedings...potty.... and colic..and the lil one's bursts of energy at 3 am...

If we go out it has to be a table for 4.. not two ..not three... but four... as we need space to keep the baby's basket and all the other stuff we have to cart around wherever he goes..... Now that he is almost 7 months old...and starting to move around... and diving for whatever is in front of him.... we have to choose our places with care.... we dont want to end up paying more for the broken crockery than the meal itself...

Earlier, The husband and I would sit in our living room and admire our collection of Van Goghs ( prints.. ..what did you think?).now.... we stand next to our lil son sleeping in his cot... and admire our creation...
Earlier , a weekend for us would mean waking up late and lazing around the house ..not taking baths ...or watching back to back movies either at home or in a multiplex... Now... , a weekend for us, means waking up at the crack of dawn to clean him after his morning potty or just playing with him..., having to bath despite not wanting to... thanks to drenching ourselves while bathing him, going out to the park with him in a stroller....to show him the wonders of nature.. or just to take him outside the house...catching a film on DVD is difficult nowadays.... we have to watch the film in installments.... We have been adventurous and taken him along to watch a few films... but now that he is so fidgetty ... its getting all the more difficult...


Priorities ......have changed....earlier.. we would plan to go off on weekends just the two of us... even..now its not impossible but just a little difficult... we could earlier just go off to some place and slum it... now not possible.. the place has to be clean... baby friendly and have stuff to entertain him as well. We would plan to go for a few holidays by ourselves... now we try and visit family so that they can also get to spend time with their grandson.....and see him grow...

Earlier we saved to buy and invest in Art... now we save to invest in a bigger and more practical car....we would go and pamper ourselves with our hobbies... be it books or movies or eating out or ... even a trip to the salon.... but now.. we pamper our son... we try and give him whatever we can... whatever we want him to have... this sometimes entails us going without a few things.... but we don't think twice... This is a time when we realise how much our parents must have given up or as some say " sacrificed" for us....and value them for all that.....

Earlier ..a shopping trip would entail trips to the book shop or a designer store or a home store.... nowadays a shopping trip entails... heading to the children's section in a store...or going to a KIDS SHOP....or entering a regular grocery store and instead of enquiring about milk or eggs.. asking if the supply of pampers or lactogen had come in....

Earlier shopping would mean shopping for ourselves or gifts for friends and family now .. it is usually only for our son... and sometimes... birthday presents for his friends ... our friend's kids....I am even stocking up on certain things I like and that might only be used when he is 2 years old....

Earlier we would ask for tickets in a movie theatre ..specifying that we want the last row and towards the centre .. for better viewing.. now we ask for seats near the exit closest to the toilet....

On a flight we would ask for seats up front and a window if possible and not over the wing.......now we categorically ask for aisle seats at the back near the loo.... Earlier we flew budget airlines.. and looked at the Business class passengers thinking .. they fly this way only 'coz their company's paying for it ...
now..... We fly business class... and we pay for it ourselves... just so that we get extra room for our son and he has a more comfortable flight....

Earlier , the husband would call me every few hours to check how and what I was doing.. or just to hear my voice.. now... he calls and yes and does ask what I am doing....( I think he knows me too well... not to)...and also asks how his son is doing and what were our plans for the rest of the day...( not my plans .. please note the diplomacy)

Earlier.... we would go out partying to some hip n happenning club or bar .... now we get together with our friends who are in similar family situations at each others homes.. where we can put our respective babies to sleep and relax over a glass of wine and some chit-chat.

Earlier our conversations amongst friends would range from fashion, to politics , to cricket, to the stock market ..to social causes... now it still revolves those things...
but while we speak of fashion ..we speak of dearth of good and reasonable childrens clothing or the lack of fashionable maternity wear....and how to order good baby slings online....
when we speak of politics.. we speak of how...the entire school admission procedure has been politicised... and fear that our kids will never be able to get admission into a decent school of our choice...
when we speak of cricket.. we speak of the dismal condition of sports in India and how may be our kids should become sports commentators and journalists....
when we speak of the stock market.... we talk of putting away money or investing in plans for our kids... for their education and future.....
when we speak of social causes... we dont talk of AIDs prevention or pollution ...or judicial activism....we speak of stem cell research..and cord banking and breast milk donation.....


Yes..our lives have changed .. our priorities have changed....and how.....


Sometimes , on a particularly difficult day... I ask myself.. if it was all worth.. it...


.....then I look into the Husband's eyes across the dining table...and see the understanding....and gentle look he gives me ....when I wake up at night to find .. him patting our son back to sleep quietly ..trying not to disturb me....when he stands behind me .. and rubs my back or just says .. " come here buri.. let me give you a hug"......or makes me turn around and look at our son's excitement at spending time with us together.....


Well... yes....It is... It is worth it ... I don't mind all the changes and all the difficult times.... looking at the two most important people in my life...it is all worth it.....definitely worth it.......


1 comment:

The Mad Momma said...

welcome aboard!!!! this is parenthood... and ahem to "I am even stocking up on certain things I like and that might only be used when he is 2 years old...." !!!!!

remember laughing at me once? this is what its like to be this side... and stock away.. i shall not tease... nothing but the best for that bundle of joy!