We were to go and watch The Namesake over the weekend.... and I hadn't read the book till then... so I made it a point to read it ASAP....
Am glad I did....The book was fabulous.... I couldn't put it down.... I felt criminal..when I would find excuses to leave my son with the maid... just so that I could go and finish reading the book.... There were times when I would just read the words and see the whole story happen in front of my own eyes..... I could see a number of people I knew ..I loved...I missed.... in the pages of that book.....
Most of all my Father..... Daddy.....
Its been seven years since we celebrated his birthday with him......he's been gone for almost seven years now.....but even today when I go over to my mum's place... I expect to see him sitting on his chair in the living room watching cricket or chatting with someone or the other.....I still expect to be asked "Hey! T ... pour me some T..." with a grin on his face... I still expect to see him walking around the dinning table when we eat..straightenning the table mats , forks and spoons..... I still hear him call my brother "minky"....I still see him giving a look of exasperation -looking at my Dida laying out a lunch consisting of 15 different dishes when he had categorically asked her to make just two...I still hear him ask my Thakuma to make "maacher jhol with bori"... I still see him pouring himself a cup of tea at the dining table and stirring in the sugar noisely till all the sugar dissolved ..much to my irritation...I still see him playing with my lil neices and nephews.....showing them the cars that passed by... I still hear him teaching them to stand at attention and call him "commando dadu....." which in turn made my poor mother "commando thakuma" for no fault of her own.....I still see him.... hear him .....and ....feel him....
He would have been 57 on the 23rd of March....I miss him a lot.......
As I was reading The Namesake...I missed him all the more..... Jhumpa Lahiri.....took a few chapters out of my life when she wrote that book...... I immediately telephoned my brother and asked him to read the book..... knowing that he would understand what I was feeling.....
Now when I look down at my son....I miss Daddy all the more...He isn't there to play with his grandson....he isn't there to show him how to stand straight... chest out ..stomach in......he isn't there to show him the cars and race with him like he did with my brother....he isn't there to be called 'Dadu'...he isn't there to see his grandson twirl the lil lock of hair on his forehead the same way he used to do........
Am glad I did....The book was fabulous.... I couldn't put it down.... I felt criminal..when I would find excuses to leave my son with the maid... just so that I could go and finish reading the book.... There were times when I would just read the words and see the whole story happen in front of my own eyes..... I could see a number of people I knew ..I loved...I missed.... in the pages of that book.....
Most of all my Father..... Daddy.....
Its been seven years since we celebrated his birthday with him......he's been gone for almost seven years now.....but even today when I go over to my mum's place... I expect to see him sitting on his chair in the living room watching cricket or chatting with someone or the other.....I still expect to be asked "Hey! T ... pour me some T..." with a grin on his face... I still expect to see him walking around the dinning table when we eat..straightenning the table mats , forks and spoons..... I still hear him call my brother "minky"....I still see him giving a look of exasperation -looking at my Dida laying out a lunch consisting of 15 different dishes when he had categorically asked her to make just two...I still hear him ask my Thakuma to make "maacher jhol with bori"... I still see him pouring himself a cup of tea at the dining table and stirring in the sugar noisely till all the sugar dissolved ..much to my irritation...I still see him playing with my lil neices and nephews.....showing them the cars that passed by... I still hear him teaching them to stand at attention and call him "commando dadu....." which in turn made my poor mother "commando thakuma" for no fault of her own.....I still see him.... hear him .....and ....feel him....
He would have been 57 on the 23rd of March....I miss him a lot.......
As I was reading The Namesake...I missed him all the more..... Jhumpa Lahiri.....took a few chapters out of my life when she wrote that book...... I immediately telephoned my brother and asked him to read the book..... knowing that he would understand what I was feeling.....
Now when I look down at my son....I miss Daddy all the more...He isn't there to play with his grandson....he isn't there to show him how to stand straight... chest out ..stomach in......he isn't there to show him the cars and race with him like he did with my brother....he isn't there to be called 'Dadu'...he isn't there to see his grandson twirl the lil lock of hair on his forehead the same way he used to do........
This year Joy sent some beautiful flowers to his Dadu on his 57th birthday.....and you aren't here to give him a hug...Daddy...... It's just not fair....
This year Ma gave an insertion for you Daddy.... it went like this...
CDR. SUBROTO GUHA
( 23.3.1950 - 19.11.2000)It is your 57th Birthday toay. Your grandson is six months old and the apple of everyone's eyes. How sad it is that he will never know his Grandpa. We miss you at all times and wish you could share in the happiness this bundle of joy has brought to our lives.
Sameer , Trishna , Dipta, Dyujoy, Latika , Nandini
10 comments:
hi, i`ve been reading your blogs for a while now..ever since i`ve joined blogspot. and it makes a pretty interesting read. i cudnt help but leave a comment here. i know exactly how you feel about your dad missing out on the growing-up years of yr son. its been 18 years since i`ve lost my grand-dad and i still miss him.. when i was growing up,i used to miss having him arnd for birthdays and pujos and summerhols and stuff. then again during my very first relationship..when i became a doctor myself.. when i got married etc.. for each and every milestone in life i`ve thought abt him and how proud he wudve felt to see me standing whr i am today.. i know exactly how you feel and how your lil one will eventually...
hugs tina... i am sure he is proud of his beautiful family... and that he is always watching over you.. i feel loved ones watch over us wherever they are...
It's my grandfather's birthday today. He would have been 93 and my father just wrote me a sentimental mail about missing his Baba. So reading your blog came at an apt time.
Dyujoy will always know his Commando Dadu (even though indirectly) because all of you will talk of him with the love and affection you show in this post. And that is the best way to remember your father.
My dad is always regretting that both his beyais (samandhi) appreciated a good chat over a glass of whisky but he did not get to meet either.
But then, hearing of Daddy's disciplinarian ways, I wouldn't have probably not become his son-in-law if he saw my slouching!
I know you must miss your father terribly. I miss my mom even after fourteen years of her death. I always used to envy my friends who spent time with their mothers and took them for granted. They didn't know what it was not to have one to share things with.She had always wanted to see me on my wedding day and even though she's up there watching over me, it's not the same. Though I don't have kids yet, I still feel my mom's presence as a grandmom in future will be greatly missed :-(
Dipta: Yes... maybe ...we you are right....
Housewife blues : I know what you mean....
Madmomma , piers at the gates of dawn and Anamika.... Thanks forwriting in
pipers at the gates of dawn... : are you who i think you are... Housewife blues mentioned something about you being the wife of a friend of The husbands... ????
Hi. Very moving post. I am so sorry about your dad. I know .. no matter how many years pass, it seems to get harder in some ways, doesn't it? Like MM says, I too am sure that your dad is watching over you. Take care.
Have lost both my parents now, the memories kill me.
Post a Comment