He is growing...

I was just going through Joy's photo album.....He has changed..grown....looks more human....not tadpolish anymore....
Check out his progress....

Joy's first pic with his mom : Day 2


First trip to the Doctor :Day 5


Tadpole ...ET......look-a -like : Day 25




His first pair of shorts and T-shirt :1 month



Afternoon nap : 1.5 months



Filling out : 2 months

Ready for his bath : 2.5 months

First trip to Kolkata : almost 3 months

Having fun with Dad : 4 months

Bob the builder : 5 months

Where's the Party tonite? : 6 months

The little Tadpole .. isn't what he used to be..... we weren't short changed....

The Husband keeps asking me.... "Worth it ...buri ?"..... and I would never answer him.... straight away....

But.... Babu....here is my answer.... " Yes.... Definitely worth it..."

An aunt and her nephew

This post is dedicated to the relationship Joy and his aunt share.....

By Aunt I mean the husbands sister..... my sis-in-law...

The Husbands family is famous for their love for sleep and when we were in Mumbai... I used to amazed with the amount both brother and sister could sleep....give them ten mins and they would be horizontal...and fast asleep....
The Husband atleast would wake up early and leave for work ..thanks to the long commute... but my sis-in-law... would wake up at 10.. and leave for work by around 12 noon.... with my work routine .. i would otherwise have been returning from work by 2 pm...
I come from a Army household.. where everything worked according to schedules and when i got married and was at my in-laws place... I used to find it weird.. that my father-in-law would leave for work and his son and daughter would wake up after he left....

However.... I have seen things change....

First let me tell you a bit about my sis-in-law...
She and I connect... as if ...we are sisters...
we like the same kind of stuff.. music... clothes...conversation.... etc.... she started writing to me even before the wedding was finalised.....
the first time we met ..we found that we even wore anklets ( one around the left ankle) which were similar...
both of us loved food.... we could talk for ages about food .... she of the more professional kind.... she was a food critic for a leading daily... and I loved to cook..... so she would keep getting me gift hampers.... and freebies... and take me out when she went to review.....pass on recipe books etc.... all of which i would welcome with open arms....
She is slim while i am not... so whenever i saw someting i could have only dreamt of wearing.... i would pick it up for..... i was one of the first to discover her romance with her now husband....( he is a sweetheart.....) we talk about various things... have cried together and laughed together..done silly things together ...
She was one of the first to know other than the Husband when we conceived lil Joy... and since we lived together in Mumbai then.. she was always there to help out and cheer me up in between bouts of sickness....

She got married when i was expecting Joy and then she moved abroad.....She and her husband have been keeping tabs on their lil nephew.... from before he was born.....I found a friend in my brother-in-law when he helped me negate some of the weird names The Husband chose for Joy...

She came visiting in December.. specially to see her lil nephew.... and i warned her.... his best time is between 4 am and 6 am..... knowing very well.. that those timings were her worst....

but.. she would wake up and come into our room without one complaint and play with him while the husband and i napped.... she gave him his bath.. fed him... cleaned him... and even rocked him to sleep..

She came laden with lil gifts for Joy....her husband it seems went shopping by himself.... and Joy loves everything they gave him.... the cool T-shirts.. the toys.... the bath buddies.... everything...

The look in his eyes when he used to see his "pinni"... was very cute.. a look of excitement...... Even now when he sees her pic... on the computer or in an album.... he grins.... dont know if he recognises her.. or just coz.. she is so pretty.... : - )

I saw the love she felt for her little nephew.. i saw the tears in her eyes when she had to leave.....

Joy really is lucky to have an aunt who loves him so much....

Dilli Haat

Folk performers at Dilli Haat

When my In-laws were visiting.... I took my sis-in-law and Mother-in-law to Dilli Haat... I just love the place.... and specially now in winter ..its lovely.

This place is one of the good things done by the Department of Tourism.
When we visited this time .. there was a Master Craftsmen festival on .... it seems these happen on and off and stuff available and on display is simply mind boggling. The fact that the proceeds go directly to the craftsmen makes it all the more satisfying when one shops there.

Joy with his Aunt and Grandma

Joy loves visiting Dilli Haat..as he loves colour and the place is alive with activity and full of bright colours with all the stall from various states all done up ....live performances by folk artists ...colourful flags fluttering in the air...and lots of people roaming around....

The other good thing about Dilli Haat are the food stalls which represent the states of India . the hot favourites being the stalls from J&K for the amazing Wazwan food ...the Rajasthan stall for the daal baati and Rajasthani thali, The West Bengal stall for the Prawn cutlets and fish fry and the North Eastern stalls... particularly Mizoram and Sikkim for their Momos, Thukpas and fruit beer. The Mizoram stall has the most amazing Passion fruit juice as well.....

We are waiting for our momos

For any tourist....or as a matter of fact even for local Delhiites.. a trip to Dilli Haat is a must.
This was the first time my in-laws were visiting Dilli Haat and I could see that the decision to take them there had been correct.... they loved it ....and so did Joy and I.

The Husband who is yet to visit..... was quite inspired by the photographs ....actually I think it is the food that is exciting him more.... but what the hell.....

The festival of learning

This year started off with the first little festival for us Bengalis... we celebrated Saraswati Puja..the festival in which we pray to goddess Saraswati , the Goddess of Learning on the 23rd of January.

This festival brings back childhood memories when this day meant no studies .... lol... coz.. we could put our books in front of the goddess and she would bless them. So what we as kids would do was wake up early in the morning and put our entire school bags in front of the idol hence... no books meant no studies.... when our parents started catching on to the trick... and when schools would not give a holiday...we would sulk all the way to school and con our poor teachers saying... this was a special day for us ... and that we had to by force attend school as it was a working day....and that we were forbidden to touch our books that day... the poor teachers... prefering not to hurt religious sentiments would let us off.. and .. oh! god.. am going red just thinking back how naughty we were in those days...

This day would also entail dressing up in yellow or orange clothes.... little girls would usually wear sarees and boys kurta pajama or dhotis .. other wise... just something yellow .....visiting various Puja pandals and temples and give Anjali( offerrings) in the morning and then much on the Prasad we were given by the priest....( usually cut fruit and dates with some Sandesh).....then hanging around with friends and family doing 'adda'....after the puja was over there was Bhog that was served ... consisting of 'To die for' KHICHURI....a mixture of dal andrice with lots of veggies( the Bengali Khichuri is a delicacy ..unlike what the rest of the country associate with the dish which is served in an insipid form when one is sick), Labra( a mixed vegetable) or a Aloo Phulkopir Dalna ( A potato and cauliflower curry) , Begun Bhaja ( Brinjal fritters), Tomato'r chutney ( A sweet tomato relish) . The meal would be completed with Payesh ( rice pudding) and Mishthi ( A Sweet..usually a Roshogolla).

After this heavenly meal..... a true Bong would waddle home and snooze till evening....which is what we did....

On this day little children who have reached school going age are initiated into the process of writing with a little ceremony called "Haathe Khuri" where in the priest says a mantra and makes the child write an alphabet on a slate with a piece of chalk...

This year I was in Delhi and despite it being a little too early for Joy to have his Haathe Khuri... I joined my family in the Puja.... I wore a yellow saree and made Joy wear a dhoti and kurta as well... he looks adorable... we offered Anjali and ate Prasad and also the Bhog..... My mom i found had put some of her books near the feet of the idol.... I was surprised to find not only a few Law books of my brothers but also... a History book of mine and .....Ahem .....a Math text book which she had discovered from God knows where.....when I asked her about it.... saying why put our books when both my brother and I were no longer students.... She said .... we will always be students as life is a never ending learning process and that she would continue to do so as long as she could.... it seems she has been doing so through out... without us knowing it ....

Joy and I all dressed up to go the temple

The three of us...

One of the resolutions I have made and kept till date .. has been more family outings... as in lil periods of time.. where just the three of us.. the husband, Joy and I get to go somewhere by ourselves and spend quality family time together...

Being in Delhi..close to relatives and family .. we hardly get time for just the three of us ....so this winter we have been making the best of all the lovely sunshine and the lovely green gardens all laden with flowers....

We have managed quite a few sundays....in the months of December and January....and have loved the time we spent together.

Our days were leisurely....wake up late...lazy brunch and then head out ....take a walk in one of the parks... our favourites were Lodhi Gardens and The Garden of Five Senses.

We loved it so much that we even dragged some friends with us one Sunday.... and it was fun.. with the kids wanting to ride on the camels.... lazing in the sun....hogging at dhabbas ( a very swanky one that too at the Garden of Five Senses ( GOFS)).....

It was great to see Joys eyes light up when he saw the gigantic Wind Chime in the GOFS.....when he craned his neck to see the elephants and the camels...and when he closed his eyes when the sun fell on his face... and following his eyes dart from here to there....when he saw loads of other kids running around everywhere.....it was lovlely to see him cuddle up in his dads arms and doze off...

Am away now from Delhi....with Joy..missing the Husband.... and our time together.... can't wait to get back..

The New Year

I just went through my blog and realised I was hopeless... since we have had Joy... I have managed to post just about once a month...and so my New Years resolution for this year is that I shall try and change that.....as in I will try and become more regular and not disappear totally...

This was our first Christmas with Joy... actually its been our first everything with Joy..so we are celebrating everything and enjoying ourselves thoroughly...
I have already posted pictures of Joy during Diwali ...so here is one on Christmas..

We spent Christmas with The Husbands family ... as in all his cousins and aunts and my -inlaws came down to visit us... and spend time with the new est member of the family.... it was great fun and we had heaps of presents under the tree...
one of The husbands aunts down from the UK... came with a gigantic suitcase filled with stuff for Joy... it looked like she had bought MOTHERCARE out...so now am busy doing up Joy's room to fit everthing in.... will post pictures soon.

I started this post by the ways on the 12th of jan.... and today is the 15th of feb.... just to let everyone know .. how hopeless i really am...
so am going to just post this and write a fresh new post asap... as in just now..

Bride wanted!!!

Looking for a suitable match for only son of cool, very social, sudoku addicted and Bengali foodie parents. Age 3 months, chubby cheeks, cheeky smile, hair: silky, curly and ahem!! scant.
Very well behaved in public, though immediate family knows otherwise.
Fascinated with the light and the fan and his cot mobile. Future career - might become an electrician.
Bride should be all of the above. However a little more hair will be an advantage.
Most important criteria: Parents should gell. Otherwise, please excuse.
Please respond with photograph. Horoscopes and other stuff irrelevant.

That thing called LOVE....

Reading through a friends blog got me thinking....
Love.... I have already posted on LOVE.... love for my son... a feeling I had never experienced before... love for my mom and brother and also my close telepathic bond with my mother-in-law....
And ... thought .. that it was time I spoke about the other kind of love is feel.... for this man in my life ... who for 40 % of the time drives me mad...for 10% of the time has me in splits...for 10% of the time lets me take his trip...for 40% of the time touches my heart with the care he takes of me and our son...
When I think of the pros and the cons.... well... despite the cons together seeming a lot and the pros being spread over three heads....I can negate the cons...without blinking an eyelid.
Ours is an arranged match.... we felt no such love-shove for each other before we met.. actually the only things we had in common ( discussed over a chat session after we had been formally(virtually..actually) introduced via family) were bacardi...well!! yes ... the alcohol and that we were foodies....
Each of us made a list of 10 best eateries we had visited... and had a matching list of 9 on 10....quite something I have been told by many people....
I didnt even know what he sounded like.... our only form of communication had been a few emails and smses...
So when I told him that I hadnt even heard his voice....( he by the ways didnt seem to want to hear mine....)... what does he do..? he calls me up immediately... and that too from some god forsaken place called Malda....and what does he say?... HELLO ..... am calling you from Malda... do I pass the sound check ?.....and after that silence........he didnt say anything else....I think the cat got my tongue as well... coz neither did I....

However .... that was the beginning of our courtship... both of us realised we wanted to say a lot ... but couldnt do so over the phone.... we either had to do it face to face or via a written media... even today.... most of our communication .....fights or mush happen via sms .

The first time he wrote to me ..was quite hilarious... and I have recounted this story hazaar times... He wrote.... I have been asked to write to you... Here is a little about myself...1) I own more books than clothes 2) Will grow bald by the time I am 30 ( he was 28 then) 3) I like to sleep on sundays and dont shave on that day as well.

I remember how much I smiled when I read this.. I was very amused... and thought... ok here is a honest and interesting man....
The reason I smile when I think of this even today is... the poor man ,I am sure never ever imagined.. that his Sunday sleep would be a part of history.....

coz firstly his wife was a morning person... she wakes up even today at 6 am....and would wake him up too... in the early days of marriage ..ahem !! sweetly.... then later... by calling him from the other room on his phone after getting bored watching the morning news for the 10th time....then by cracking it..... as in sitting next to him in bed and calling the world to catch up and chat on the phone.....or by cooking delicious breakfast and luring him out of bed.....
To make matters worse... he had a brother-in-law who would call on the landline...( which could not be put on silent..lol) which was kept on the bedside table next to him and yell.."Happy Sunday!!!"(Needless to say his in-laws were all morning people like his wife...)
The icing on the cake has happened since he has become a father....his son too takes after his wife......so apart from waking up his Dad at 5 am.... he demands to be cleaned at 5 am as well..... a very very plesant way to start the day.....
Poor guy....

The other thing is that he hasn't as yet gone bald.... though I know he will someday.. as it is hereditary.... but well... not yet....
He by the ways nowadays is compelled to shave on a Sunday as well.... coz thats when we go out socialising and he has to look presentable....right?
The only thing he has been able to maintain is ...Yes.. his collection of books still outnumbers the numbers of clothes he has ... but well only just about.... thanks to his now living in the same city as most of his -in-laws... and he is perpetually being showered with gifts which are either books or clothes....

His love for books, Ray and The Big B....drives me sometimes..MAD.....sometimes makes him all the more lovable.....

Every shopping spree ....begins and ends in a bookstore... so earlier whenever he was with me.. i would never get any of my own shopping done... ( so now i do those without him and go and browse ( i love it too actually) at Teksons or Om bookstore every second and fourth Saturday...his days off...

Every Saturday night incase we were home and doing nothing but watching TV.... he very sweetly controls the remote and in the commercial breaks of something I want to watch he snatches bits and peices of... "shanivaar ki raat Amitabh ke saath".....His telling.. me .." Buri....5 mins... let me just let me hear Amitabh say this dialogue.....please.." and then repeating the dialogue with the Big B himself....with a look of adoration and marvel.....have me rolling my eyes...but smiling on the sly..

I think he must have gone and stood outside Lilavati hospital when Amitabh was sick.....actually I think he must have stood at his office window and prayed....( his office was by chance just behind the hospital).....

Once ...very soon after we were married... I was surprised to find him ringing the doorbell at 4 pm.... it seems he was sitting in Office and going through the Sholay dialogues in his mind( yes.. most people do just that at work .. i know...!!!!!) and couldn't remember one dialogue..so he came home to see his DVD and remember it...

He has this friend... who is an even bigger fan of The Big B...and so one night when he was over the both of them decided to watch "SHAAN"...which incidently i hadn't seen either.... well.. I still haven't seen it... cos .... before the film began .. i had to sit through their analysing the film and telling me how it was the most "Fundoo" film....and how the opening sequence which gives all the credits... as made like how the BOND films were shot..... etc....Whatever little I saw of the film did not have Amitabhs voice......or for that matter .. it was silent... these two.. were doing the dubbing....when they started telling me... what would happen next.... I decided to leave the room and them to some time alone with their idol... their god!

Satyajit Ray......well... The husband has taught me to watch,understand and appreciate cinema at its best.... I now can truly thank him for introducing me to Ray the way one should be......I watch his films from our collection whenever I get the time.... not only Rays films ..even his short stories of Feluda and other detective stories... most of which i had read earlier....were rediscovered by me ....and ... had me fascinated through out my pregnancy..

I remember him browsing in a bookstore and finding a coffee table book on Ray .... looking at it longingly...turning it over and looking very sadly at the price..... he put it down...and walked away.....his look when he unwrapped his birthday gift from me.... assured me that I had gotten him the right gift.....needless to say..he spent his entire birthday with the book...

He has these two huge coffee table books actually three... his most favourite... one on the Big B ...this one on Ray and one on Van Gogh.... which he dusts every saturday...browses through and returns them to their place in his bookshelf very lovingly with a look which could say..." untill next week my sweets..."..He refuses to let me keep them on my coffee table.. despite them being Coffee table books..

I am a very vocal person..... I say what I want to...to whom I want to and when I want to ..... the Husband isn't like that.... specially when it comes to expressing emotions....one such emotion is Love..... I don't think he has ever told his parents that he loves them.... I dont think he has ever told anyone he loves them..( except may be... me... that too after I threatened to leave him if he didn't say those three words..LOL) .

He however has different ways of showing his love.....and for me those are very very special...

My first birthday after we were married... apart from giving me some regular gifts ...like books , CDs etc..... he had a friend of his cut me a CD with a song specially sung for me...... the words.. bring tears to my eyes ......he got everything right....Love was just him walking by my side......( he won brownie points.... by the ways with all my friends .... who when they heard ..looked at their poor husbands who had..... despite buying them diamonds......fallen short..LOL).

He suddenly disappeared in a Barista leaving me sitting alone...fuming ...only to hand me a package when we were leaving.... he got me a coffee mug... which said..... "Whisper those three special words.....Here's Your Coffee..." giving me a look which only I could read....

He would rub cocoa butter on my belly and back during my pregnancy every night....

Even today....he rocks his son to sleep when he wakes up at night... just so that I can get some sleep....

Cleans his sons lil bottom with utmost care without complaining even once.....never mind what time of the night it is.....

He looks in on my ailing grandmother on his way to work..

Adores my mom and keeps buying her books..... he even despite his very busy schedule finds time to bring print outs of something or the other ... she needs.....( after both my brother and I have told her to go and climb gumtree....)..He patiently listens to my mother repeat her self...again and again...always asks if we should ask my mum to come along when we make plans to go out to dinner... knowing she would be alone at her place.....with my brother at work...

Sweetly he has changed from being a recluse to being a social person..... ( shocking his parents as well).....He never complains about the hoards of my relatives who keep dropping by..... or the number of dinner invites we keep receiving from family......my extended family..when I know he would much prefer to cuddle up with a book instead...

His telling his lil son.... who demands my attention all the time....Hey!! Buddy I was here first.....!

His look of despair and heartbreak when his little son yells when he picks him up and continues to bawl untill I quieten him down......breaks my heart and makes me leave my son and hug him with all my might.....reassuring him that his son doesn't realise what he is doing and yearns for him as much he does for me........

When I look into the future.....I can see him taking his son to see his first film.... reading him stories in Bengali.....teaching him the Sudoku.....helping him with his Math .....and weekend trips to the bookstore...... never saying no to a treat and eating out....

If all this is not Love ...then what is.....?????

The dreaded C word!!

Yes ... the reason i haven't written in a while is ..the dreaded C word.. that haunts some young parents.....
The C word.... COLIC..
My mother was shocked and surprised to find me sitting one day when she was visiting with a wailing baby in my lap.... looking harrassed ..helpless and traumatised...
Why was Joy crying? I didn't know... I could'nt figure out what to do .....What would make hm stop..?..How could I ease his discomfort... ?What was causing this discomfort....?
If he wasn't yelling with tears rolling down his cheeks his eyes and face RED.... his fists clenched his lips trembling his little body all curled up......he was squirming and making weird noises.... I just didn't know what to do... He would look up at me with this desperate look in his eyes... as if telling me..." Ma .. please do something.....!!!!"

According to my mom... "breast-fed babies don't get colic.... or at least they didn't in our time..."..so there had to be something I wasn't doing right....making me feel guilty as hell for eating the samosa i had eaten the night before...
So The husband and I rushed the hospital.... the Doctor confirmed that YES..it looked like colic...and that... the breast feeding had nothing to do with it.. and nor had what i had eaten ..... It seems some kids just get the Colic and there was nothing to get worried about....
I could have hugged the doc...( by the ways he is quite a hotty... young and cool..very very with it...) I was relieved..... it wasn't me ..I wasn't guilty of causing my son all that pain...

It seems colic is very common amongst infants between 6 weeks and 3months ....irrespective of the fact that are breast-fed or not.... The Docs explanation was that the babies at that age are on their backs most of the time ...lying flat... not much exercise...except for feeding and doing potty .... and sleeping they don't do much... hence their digestion isn't the best... this causes gas in their tummies and hence the discomfort and pain ...
The solution..make sure that they are burped well....
Sometimes... the babies just don't burp.... and we as parents give up and lay them down... to sleep...as they usually fall asleep during their feed...
The Doctor said that we could also make him lie on his tummy though medically they don't advise it anymore... However.... in case of severe pain we could try it ... but one of us would have to be awake while joy slept in that positioning....
That was the second best piece of advice we got .. Joy was fine in that bunny rabbit position and slept like he should .... like a baby....so now we give him his tummy time whenever we can....

We give him a medicine ...which is a little zingy in taste... and he hates.. just before his colic starts twice a day.... we have to bear with a few minutes of yelling ... when he protests ..... then he calms down as his spasms stop....and starts purring.......

At least now both the Husband and I are being able to deal with our babies pain....I think most parents will agree.... to see your child cry in pain is the worst trauma ever.... specially when you are helpless....

Festival of Lights and "Joy"

The past few days have just flown....what with festival season on in full swing ...It is all the more special for us as it is our lil bundle of Joys first Diwali....well actually its his "first" everything....so in other words everyday is a first for him and for us as well....

Diwali is a lovely festival... as in the lights bit... and the food and festivities bit... am not so "hot" about the crackers bit anymore...
As kids we would wait for Diwali time... it would mean shopping with Dad for 'baaji-potka'...initially both my brother and I would get on to Dad's scooter and leave home to come back grinning from ear to ear....balancing a big bag of crackers and our selves behind Dad...Over the years we progressed to making the trip in the car with lots of room for the crackers...but sadly came back with not that many...reason inflation in the market and a Dads wallet which was not....correspondingly bulky...

Nonetheless, we used to have a blast ....Ma would visit the Blind School Diwali Mela and come back loaded with Diyas and candles...which we would as a family decorate and light all over the house... My parents home is a beautiful, big and two and a half storeyed independent house.. so all lit up it would look quite breath taking......
The lighting of candles and diyas became a family ritual and tradition which I tried to follow even after I married and moved away... Every year both the Husband and I would buy Diyas and decorate our home... I remember our first Diwali together in Bangalore... our flat looked beautiful and we had a huge gang of friends over for dinner... I cooked mutton and pullao and kaali daal and there were lots of sweets... everyone came all dressed up ... after dinner we burst some crackers and then after midnight went over to The Park Hotels coffee shop for coffee and another round of dessert...lovely...

Diwali in Bangalore was also spent gambling.. actually learning to gamble on 5 rupee stakes and having heart failures when we lost sums as large as 20 bucks... lol.. those were the days...

Our second Diwali was spent in Hyderabad... we had just about moved and knew very few people... but called them over nonetheless. ..and decorated the flat and had a nice time...

Our third Diwali ..is this year and soooo special.... we are glad we have been able to share this special festival this year with our family and close friends....

This year too we lit up our apartment with Diyas which I picked up from the old Family haunt.. yes the Blind School Diwali Mela... and then went over to my cousins place as it was also Kali Puja...

Oh! I so love this festival season in India.. all over the country we celebrate these few months... and the best thing about it is that it brings everyone together... which is so special.

My Bundle of JOY!!

I must say I am quite relieved.....To say the truth, I have never seen a baby ...as in a baby so small in my life..as in before my own..

For me....a baby is a picture of chubby cheeks, big round eyes ,rosy cheeks and a sloppy smile....so when The husband and I saw ours for the first time properly....we were disappointed....at least I was...
Where was my chubby baby?..where was the "baby" I had been dreaming of?...The place I delivered my baby had added to that dream by putting these big sized posters of very prosperous babies all over.....
The Husband and I felt a bit short-changed..with our little ET look alike ....

But..now Joy is a little over a month old and HAS HE CHANGED...
The past month has been a revelation for the Husband and I...everyday with our son has been a learning experience...We now instinctively know...when is the right time to change our baby's diaper...clean his poop....or wipe puke off his face .

All these days, I would complain how...none of his "newborn" clothes were the right size..as in they were all just too big for him..and there was no way I was going to let my son look like a "clown". Now suddenly I am having to bring out clothes which I had put away 'coz 'they wouldn't be needed for a while' .
My little bundle of Joy now changes his clothes thrice a day(not counting the ones soiled with pee and poop)..thanks to his over enthusiastic mom who wants him to wear all the smart clothes bought for him ... before it's too late.

The Husband and I have no hangups about hand-me-downs.... so the other day I visited a cousin of mine who has two lil boys aged 4 and 2....I came back home loaded with all the brands under the sun.... Joy now wears...Marks and Spencers onesies during the day and Carters Rompers to sleep.... He has a few sets of Ralph Lauren casuals and a few sets of Polo Sport tracks and also some very smart baby GAP shoes and the most precious of them all.... a pair of LEVIS ....
You don't get LEVIS in his size here.... and I am so excited and waiting for all three of us (Like Papa bear,Momma bear and Baby bear) all dressed in our Blue Levis ready to go out for the day.

Our son has already been out ... for lunch to Mainland China.. his parents favourite Chinese place....that place has a special place in our lives.....The Husband and I met there for the first time...( will write about how it all happened soon)..so it was quite apt that Joy's first lunch out would also be to MLC.....

Yesterday , being saturday...The Husband was home.... and so we went out shopping....( which I have come to the conclusion..The Husband HATES and Junior... I feel...finds BORING... much to my despair...) Actually, come to think of it...I thank God for that... so now I can shop in peace with out sulking tag- alongs....or the "we have an opinion"types.....will just leave them both home... and have a good time with The Husbands credit card....LOL....yippeee!!!

Anyways, coming back to yesterday,... we went to pick up some stuff for Joy.... a bathing chair .. which he loves by the way.... lounges in it as if he were relaxing in the French Riviera....and The maid, The Husband and I were his hand maidens..... massaging him, giving him a manicure or a pedicure....LOL....what a life....!!!

We were in this shopping place and The Husband and I smelt something familiar... our favourite coffee bar....so we looked at each other and said .. "Why not?"....so in we went..

Joy seemed to like the place... coz he fell asleep...in a few minutes and the smell of the coffee and all the noise didn't seem to bother him at all... All I can say is that Barista has gotten itself a new very very young client.. who will be visiting often .... as of now with his parents and soon.... with his own set....to hang out....play scrabble..strum the guitar....or just drink some Latte....

The Husband and I then went to visit some friends..who have a little 15 month old brat....he is the cutest kid I have ever seen and also the friendliest....The Husband and I had seen him about a month ago .. when Joy was born..... and were surprised to find that he wasn't the little baby we thought he was anymore.... He had grown.... into this Little-Big boy... the growth spurt was so visible.. that we were speechless... could one month do this to a kid.... common.. how long is a month anyways....

Both, The Husband and I looked down at Joy and realised that our"tadpole" wasn't looking like a tadpole anymore either....and he too was just a little over a month old...He was now looking like the baby we had been dreaming of...He had grown too....

On our way home ... we spoke about this...and felt silent...very soon our "little bundle of JOY" wouldn't be "little" anymore....

He missed it!!!!

The Husband has always had a job which entailed a lot of travel.... those who have been following my blog....will know of my frequent posts during his tours throughout my pregnancy....in fact he was on tour for 24 days in August.....the month before I delivered.
A cousin visiting from the US brought along a little water proof baby album in which i was supposed to put pictures of the people I wanted the baby to recognise.... so I think the first picture will have to be that of the Husband....


Ok! ok!..I shouldn't crib too much.... The Husband, I must say is amazing with his son and was genuinely upset about missing his son's first month birthday.....actually is upset about missing anything .....He is a complete hands on father....the whole world seems to be asking me this very question ... whether The Husband is helping out ?...Does he help with the baby?...Does he stay up with you...?....Well..the answer is YES to all of the above and more... actually I sometimes think he is much better with this parenthood thingy than I am.... and I have no qualms in accepting that.....

Anyways....He has to work to bring the bread to our table and be able to afford all the stuff we need for our little baby... and being enthusiastic parents we want the very best and well the very best costs...so he,poor chap has to work....coz..I am not...for a year at least....

As I was saying...Yesterday , the 6th of October ....our baby completed one month of being with us.....and yes his dad....missed his little birthday party.... however must give him his due.. he left only in the morning.. so technically was there to wish his son .....
It was quite sad to see Daddy leave his wife and son on such an important day.....Anyways we saved him two big slices of Birthday cake....chocolate cream his favourite( dads not sons...) and because it was a kiddie cake...we decorated it with bright coloured gems instead of the usual walnuts..... check this pic out...!

Cutting cake with some friends at home....

Our son spent the entire day with his Mom.... thats me.. and was very well behaved.. It actually seemed as though the lil one understood that he had just crossed a milestone and should hence act mature and his age... all of one month!!!

His Dads parents from Kolkata sent him an E- greeting... his very first... so I thought it should appear on this post as well.... and get recorded....

"On your completing one month

Our loving Babusona

You were born on a day which all said was 'Anand Chaturdashi"

You complete a month on a day which is the day of 'Goddess of Prosperity"

May health, happiness & 'god touch' be there in all you do.

This is all your Dadabhai & Nammi wish for you."

Happy Birthday.... darling son...!!

I started writing on day 18 and ended on day 30

Today is the 26th of September..and my baby is 3 weeks old... gosh!! Time really flies...It seems like just yesterday that I went into deliver my lil bundle of Joy!!!!
He has grown in these past few weeks... his vocal chords have definitely become stronger.

Both the husband and I have realised that our lives have changed for ever and that... this change like the theory of change is a continuing process....

Our son, ......( please note the pause....I don't know where to start with the update) is now almost 3.5 kgs/a little over 7 pounds in weight...which some may say is still a little small....considering his Dad was a bonny 8 pounder at birth...( I have sympathy for my Mother-in-law...a lil 2.5 kg baby was bad enough to give birth to).

Joy is now beginning to look a little more human...ie. from our earlier descriptions of him resembling a tadpole and other such creatures... His cheeks are filling out and as I mentioned earlier so are his lungs....

At 5 days he was trying to turn over.. which shocked most of us .. coz it seems kids start attempting that only at around 4-5 months....and at 8 days was tryng to stand up( with our support naturally...he isnt superman yet!)....as in his legs seem to have gotten all the strength they need....

So when I visited the Doc for his Day 14 check up....I asked him a number of questions about the normalcy of such things... to which he told me a story of another doctor friend of his whose kid was turning over at 10 days as well.. so being a doctor.. she got a little concerned and rushed her baby to a neurologist for a detailed check up... the neurologist laughed and told her to chill..and said that kids of today have broken all milestones.. which is why nowadays no one talks of milestones and only talks of precedents....which keep getting updated..

So in other words I was told to chill...

Our baby, has mastered the art of driving us a lil bonkers everyday in some way or the other... his Granddad calls everyday to ask for his daily report... which fluctuates from a B+ to a D.....we are just not able to give him an F as yet... If one day deserves a B+ then that very night gets him a D....so poor guy hasnt been doing too well as per his report card.

The Husband and I give him his bath everyday.. which is a different story all together....on some days he behaves like an angel and on some days he is a holly terror... which is fine coz his dad has been calling Osama on and off.. Joy seems to like his massage ....if he is in a good mood... he behaves like a Raja... he likes the massage as long as it is restricted to his arms and legs and back... the minute his mommy attempts to venture near his face or head.. he turns RED and bawls his lungs out...... the same goes for his bath.. when he is made to rest against the side of the tub and his Dad gently splashes warm water against his behind or on his tummy he purrs.....and sits with his arms resting on the top of the tub..as if he was lazing in a Jacuzzi.... but the minute I bring the wash cloth near his face and/or head.... we need ear plugs.

Off late , he has started to understand the power of his lungs and the minute we put him down after carrying him.... he turns RED and yells... so much so... when our maid who while carrying him attempts to sit down....so that she can rest a bit....he yells even then.

The other thing he has mastered is the art of peeing and pooping the second after we clean him...and put him into a fresh diaper. A few days ago , he pooped on his dad..the second after his dad had painstakingly cleaned him and then pee'ed on me ..all in the span of 5 seconds... and that too in the middle of the night.

Joy being a boy and having his precious family jewels......working overtime..what with all the peeing..... surprises me everyday.. I am regularly sprayed on my face.... despite sitting opposite his danger zone... we sometimes find a wet patch on the wall...on a dry day.... then the other day I almost slipped as I was entering his room... there was a puddle near the door... and when I checked Joy he was absolutely dry and so was his bed....the maid and I just looked at each other and when I told the Husband about his sons exploits of the day.. both of us laughed and then looked down at our lil bundle of Joy and sighed ....thinking.... this was just the beginning...we had lots more still to come.....

P.s.: Thanks to my pee and poop cleaning routine.. i finished this blog only on day 30....so the next one should be on his one month birthday.... hopefully it shall be posted before his 6th month birthday.

Love.....

Through out my life I have had to hear as must have everyone else...I am sure....."become a mother and then you will know....".

And I would wonder... Good lord! .... The list of things I will get to know once I become a mother .. is growing longer and longer...

My mother loved... emotionally blackmailing me....by saying..."Jokhon tumi ma hobe..... tokhon tumi bujhte paarbe...( when you will become a mom yourself ..then you will begin to realise ../understand) " with tears in her eyes.... sometimes even in fits of anger .

I am a mother today.... and yes I have started realising a lot of things..... that I didnt realise earlier. One such thing... is an emotion......that of- LOVE.....unconditional love!

I have had to get a million medical tests done all my life.... so the sight and prick of the needle is something I am immune to...My mother could never go with me for my tests.... she would drive me there and then sit in the car or in the waiting room... I would find her quite silly and would tell her this everytime ....and you guessed right .. I had to hear the famous line.... " when you become......" everytime.

Just recently when I was in labour giving birth to my child...my mum was with me initially and then... refused to enter the labour room and cried buckets and kept praying for me outside.... I over heard her tell some one .. that it was the most painful experience of her life... much more painful than the two deliveries she has had.....

She said something that I will never forget.. she said..." when someone is in pain and cries out asking for help from someone..... it is usually for his/her mother... the cries can be in any language....in Bengali.,Hindi, English, Tamil, etc ...like when I cried out...I kept calling for my mother.."

Last week... I took my lil son for his first check up to the hospital... and the doc there needed to burst a lil puss boil on his chest. He assured me that it would be painless for the baby.... but I just couldn't look......It is true the needle didn't hurt my baby... but he sensed something and yelled.... and his cries.... though not audible as yet.... sounded like ....."Maaaaaaaaa"...I did feel my heart break.....and did feel tears rolling down my cheeks immediately....

The feeling a mother and as a matter of fact even a father gets when their child immediately stops crying when they are picked up by their parents.... all you have to do is hold them to your chest and whisper into its ear and they start purring instead of crying....is simply amazing

Our baby keeps us awake all night sometimes....and we are ready to climb the wall.... but the next morning... one toothless smile...is all it takes for us to forget the previous traumatic night....

The first time my baby put its lil fingers around my lil finger......don't think I will ever forget that moment.

My baby was born after 22 hours of labour... and so once everything was fine the doc decided to keep the baby in the nursery for monitorring for 24 hours.. and also said that I should be given the much needed rest I deserved. At that moment I was relieved for the rest.... but I also woke up The Husband at 4 am and demanded to be taken to the nursery to see my child.

When I heard that the Husband had held our child before I had.... I was so jealous.... and since .... the baby was kept under observation .. I couldnt hold it for more than 24 hours..... I almost went into depression. Thank god .... he was given to me before I broke down.

My baby is now 13 days old .. and I have already learnt/understood a lot of new things.... which I wouldn't have understood earlier......

Motherhood....does make you see things differently.

Day 5

Hmnnn...Yaaawn..!!!!..What.....Hmmn....Yawn....Hmmn!!!

Thats the kind of response you will be getting from me very soon.... am still enjoying waking at all hours and changing diapers and feeding on demand and rocking my baby to sleep ....I have doubts about this continuing though.
Today was Day 5 of having someone new in my life....something totally new and something I still can't believe exists .

Ok! OK! I have to stop calling my baby an "IT"....my Mom has started making a list of the names of animals and other creatures the husband and I have called our baby.....whenever we add a new one ..she repeats all of them like that game we used to play...don't know what its called.. "Concentration.." or something.... Where...you sit in a circle and choose a topic and then every one names a person connected to that topic and you have to keep repeating them when your chance comes and in the proper order... what is it called...????? ok .. forget it... am sure you know what I am taking about .... it's also shown in that Ray Film.."Abar Aranye"....or maybe the sequel... am not sure...

So my mom goes..." Bang( bong for frog)....Tadpole.....ET.....Lizard....Crow...."and her expression is to be seen to be believed.... She can't imagine how both the Husband and I can come up with such stuff... for the lil new man in her life.... her first Grandson....She keeps dropping in ... and peeping into the lil ones room... and goes... " CHOOOO Chweet.... lil DJ.".... by the ways... I do not like the nick name... I like the one I chose... but I don't think anyone's bothered.

We had some family over last night for my brother's birthday... and everyone was discussing what "daaknaam" my son should have ... My youngest cousin sister.. came and announced that he should have a horrible one like the one she was given... and still curses all of us for it .... My cousin brothers....came up with some other unmentionables....My mom... said she was going to call.... him DJ... and was supported by my Father-in-law.. who said.. that DJ was apt.. 'coz Dyujoy was born between Blocks D ( where we live) and J ( where my mum lives). The Hospital incidentally is also half way between the two blocks geographically.
Anyways, Dyujoy is officially nicknamed "Joy"....and that is what he shall be called... at least in front of me...

I am a Mommy!!

Well!...It's finally over.... I am now officially a Mommy!!!

I cannot believe it....actually nor can the Husband...If one sees this pic .. one will say .. oh! they had a baby girl.... well.. not really.. we actually have had a baby boy...the pink wrap... was given to the nursery when we hadn't a clue... anyways...we have no such sexist notions....

Ok.. here is all the basic gen.... We had a baby boy who has now been named Dyujoy Chaudhuri.."Dyujoy"means "the conqueror of heavens".I just had to let everyone know... especially after blogging about the various name options and the Husbands OCD about names...

Dyujoy or "Joy" was born on the 6th of September,2006 at 8.14pm..or as his maternal grandfather would have told everyone... "Junior arrived at 2014hrs." He weighed 2.5 kgs at birth.He was delivered normally and I the poor mommy had to go through almost 20 hrs of labour... for it to happen. I will write a whole new blog on my labour....so please await that upate.

As of now all three.. the baby, exhausted mother and the much harrassed father..are all doing fine.

P.s This posting is being done while I am still in Hospital....I found out that the proud Daddy had already posted a blog about the baby where he starts off with the Mommy and Osama sharing a birthdate....so...If Daddy can blog why can't this Mommy...right?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder-2

The other OCD the Husband has , is his obsession with names beginning with "D" for our to-be child.
After we were married and some of our friends were expecting children.. a common party conversation would be "what should we name the kid?" Every set of to-be parents wanted suggestions.. and these parties would resemble that famous Standard Chartered Manhattan "Dinkoo" ad...hilarious and lots of fun...

But for us the naming game wouldn't end at the party . The Husband had bought Maneka Gandhis "Book of Hindu Names " and would spend hours browsing through it. So after each such party we would sit down and look for "nice" names... the ones in the book are horrible by the ways.

However, this' looking for names' exercise would invariably end up with the both of us fighting over names for our future kid . According to the Husband... everyone in his family had names starting with the alphabet D and so his children would also follow the family tradition and be named with D. Initially I didn't say anything and so we started looking for "nice and modern " names with D. The great book had some awful suggestions..... like for boys.. Duryodhan and Dritarashtra and Drona and for girls...Draupadi, and Daman and stuff... I was horrified..

The husband then says ... not only should the name be with D but also be pleasing to the Bong ear and also be easy to pronounce by the Bongs ..so none of my modern names would do.

So we would end up fighting....and end result ...me in tears and him facing away from me and fast asleep. All this mind you when we were no where near any plans of starting a family.

Then we suddenly found ourselves in a position to actually seriously look for a "nice" name for our -to be child. So we too had a party for cousins and friends....to help us by giving us name suggestions..... it was a disaster... We still had that D stipulation.. but had come to an understanding or so I thought.

We would stick with the D business for him but I would get to choose the name and since Bongs always have pet names or what we call Daaknaams....we would choose that together.

So suggestions came pouring in from all quarters... From the senior citizens quarter ... we got names like Deependu...Diptesh....Deepankar....etc.. all very very Bong names... and very sad as far as I was concerned...from my cousins... who are mostly from Delhi...we got suggestions like Devinder and Deepinder..and Damanjit....(they thoroughly enjoyed our pained expressions..i am sure)..from some others we got Damodar and Dushyant..... even a Deen Dayal and Deena Nath....yes... horrifying...I know. My Mom came up with Tridip...completely ignoring the D business saying it was a bit of both our names.. cute ma...but sorry!!! There was also a suggestion of Don Chaudhuri and Daroon Chaudhuri....which thankfully both of us laughed over but VETOED!

I suggested Dhruv...but was promptly told in Bongland he would be called... Dhroobo.... which was awful....

By the ways, most of the suggestions were for boys names.. as thankfully both the Husband and I had reached a consensus on a shortlist of three girls names.

Even for girls names ,in fact, I like Dia..which would be written as Diya but was promptly told .. that she would be tormented her entire college life with "Eh Dia! Kisko Dia? Kya Dia?".Actually come to think of it now.. which ever name I suggested was vetoed for some reason or the other.

The Husband.. was fixated on Dhritiman...for some reason.... and I hated it ..for it remined me of Shaktiman and Hanuman. The saving grace came from my sweet new Brother-in-law. ( The husbands Sisters new Mallu husband)... When he heard of the Dhritimaan option... he promptly SMSd me back saying " Drit? what? Man?"...lol . Thankfully that settled it... If the poor kids own Uncle couldn't pronouce his name what was the point. Thanks Nitin for that.

In the middle I got fed up with the D business and announced that I would name my kid with S as the two men in my life and family before marriage ( Dad and bro) have names with S. So i suggested Shantanu... there was also a hunk in college by that name who was also a brain and an INLAKs scholar to Cambridge. But was told by the Husband... that the poor chap would be teased with Shanta"nonu".... it seems... and to top it all and much to the Husbands cheap thrills it was substantiated by a friend.... who when he heard the Shantanu suggestion.... also came up with Shanta"nonu".....Ufff!!!!

The husband was also dying to find a "cute " daaknaam for his kid... He by the ways loved "Dinkoo"(yuck!)...then told me one morning that we would call our first kid... Tumtum and the second Pikpik....( he was given silent treatment for the entire weekend)....then came up with a list of pathetic ones like Potla and Choochoo and Puchka ( will leave my reactions for you to guess)

Anyways , we finally managed to shortlist a name for a boy and a girl. Something Bong but not really typically Bong...something everyone would be able to say with ease. I even have the Daaknaams settled.. as in I chose them and the husband has had no say.... you see am pregnant and have tears on a leaky tap....

We shall let you know the name of the child when it does finally arrive... as I have said in my previous blogs... am still waiting !!!!

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder-1

What does one do with a husband who has a severe case of OCD ..?

In my case... The Husband has a number of OCDs.

The latest one being .... "formatting blogs ".

I go to my address pop up list and click on my the saved blogging address and suddenly get redirected to Sykpe... i don't know how..!!!!!
Zapped....
I then try going on to the main blogging homepage and type in my username and hope for the best... and get directed to a page with a new blogname....and a whole new look.
My old blog was dark blue and snazzy.....or so i thought.... but naturally the Husband.. thought otherwise.
The new page...is brown...and sophisticated... but not "snazzy" if you get my drift....and has a grainy texture and feel...
Its nice... actually not bad really , but still something my Mum would have chosen... for her Blog.....
Then he has "formatted" the whole thing....checked for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors... and all this has been done according to him while he was on tour...When i spoke with him... and heard about it ...he got a earful... about being on tour and working for his company and not formatting my blog... which can be done here in Delhi ....while he is with me...and with my inputs.
anyways....

My Mother-in-Law

When I write about my mom, I cannot but write about the other mother in my life - my mother-in-law (I call her Mamoni).

She is a dear. Very well read and articulate and also ahead of her times. She is a mother-in-law all women should have. My respect for her and her attitude was established right when my wedding was arranged.

We had an arranged marriage and The Husband was living and working out of Calcutta. That being his home town, he lived with his parents. Coming from a household where we lived with my Thakuma, I naturally expected to move in with my in-laws.

But Mamoni was very clear. She told me that the husband and I could live next door if we wanted to, but not with them. She said this would maintain cordial relations between the family. Despite my protests she argued that she was used to her space and i was used to mine, both of us got along... so why upset the peace and harmony? We could see each other as often as we wished and do things our own way and still be best of friends.

At that time i was upset, thinking that my mother-in-law wasn't even going to give me a chance. But in retrospect, she was just being wise and intelligent.

I remember that just before the wedding, The Husband changed jobs and moved to a new city. I asked Mamoni if she was going to go and help him set up his new home before the wedding. And she surprised me by asking my mother to send me instead (which, in traditional arranged marriages, would be a complete no-no) as it was going to be my home and I should do it up the way i wanted to and not be forced to live with the choices she had made for me.

Over the years, we have come to share a wonderful relationship. I look at The Husband and see how wonderful he is and understanding and different from the normal mould of men we all have in our families, especially the previous generation. And I realise that I owe my mother-in-law a big hug and thank you for making him the way he is.

It reminds me of something a friend wrote in her blog about making our sons sensitive and understanding so that they can be responsible men of the future and not grow up to be MCPs. So true. I am seeing an example in front of me.

The past few months of pregnancy have been quite trying and The Husband has been travelling on and off. Mamoni seems to share some kind of telepathy with me. Whenever I feel depressed or low, I seem to get a call from her on my cell. Just seeing her name buzzing on the phone is reassuring.

I have to also thank her for giving me a set of grandparents (The Husband's grandparents) who are loving and always cheering me on. According to the husband, I have a fan following in them.
I am now waiting for Mamoni and Bapi (The Husband's dad) to arrive and be with us when the li'l bundle arrives. I am sure they are as excited as we are. After all they are going to grandparents for the first time as well. And as my mum says, grandparents share a special relationship with their grandchildren and that relationship cannot be defined.

Both The Husband and I are determined to let that relationship flourish. Like ours did with our grandparents, who spoilt us rotten.
I am sure we shall be there to discipline our kids the way our parents did... And well, we turned out alright - didn't we?

Dad, Ma, Mamoni and Bapi - I hope that we are able to bring up our children the way you did yours...

Mothers

Since I have become pregnant, I have started valuing the relationship I share with my mom and also with my mom-in-law.

My Mom has all the qualities a mother should possess.

She is caring, can anticipate all my needs, can guess what is wrong or right just from the tone of my voice, listens patiently to all my weird ideas and also all my tantrums and complaints. But that never stops her from ticking me off when i go out of hand (which is pretty often) or become unreasonable.

Despite being a career academician and a writer, despite being bogged down with classes and academic meetings, despite being chased by editors and deadlines, despite being tormented by a machine called the computer which keeps hanging and software which suddenly makes hours of typing with two fingers vanish - she still finds the time to look after a pregnant daughter who lives close by, a mother-in-law who is aging (and suddenly not herself anymore) and a 25 year old son.

This list does not include a list of relatives and different groups of friends who can't live without her. Sometimes I wonder how she manages it all and also keep her sanity.

Though hints of "losing it" are becoming evident. For example, she went for a movie one evening with an aunt and a friend and suddenly I get SMSs from her asking "Are you alright?" I got this SMS three times wondering what was wrong. I call her back to find she was frantic, as she had a few missed calls from "the plumber" and, in the darkness of the cinema, read it as the nursing home. Thank God, she did'nt call the plumber asking if I had delivered or whether my contractions had started... Can you imagine his expression ?

She has also gone completely overboard shopping for her to-be-grandchild. When The Husband and I protest we get brushed off with "It's going to be my first grandchild, so both of you don't have a say".

Between her and my grandmom, The Husband is now finally getting a hard time. Something he never expected, 'cos he being the son-in-law was getting used to being the reincarnation of god on earth.

The minute he mentions a tour, my grandmother (I call her Thakuma, my dad's mum) looks at him with these very worried eyes and her expression is priceless. She is quite certain that he won't be there when the D-day happens.

My mum just gives him one of those "I will kill you" look which is followed by a look which says, "Don't leave us alone with her. Only you can handle her. We have tried for so many years and have actually given up".

Losing my Dad suddenly hit us all badly. Not only was our family young... my brother and I were both studying. And my mum had just started to enjoy a life without the tensions of childrens exams and my dad suddenly had started showing his romantic side by sending her flowers on their anniversary, shocking both my brother and I who were away in a different city. Both my brother and I would not have made it if it hadn't been for Mum. She took over and didn't let our lives get disrupted any more than it had already. We both went on to finish our studies and never felt the absence of Dad expect for his physical presence. He was in the Merchant Navy, so I guess we just thought of him as away at Sea.

My mother organised my wedding in the grand scale that it would have been done if Dad had been there, despite my fretting over all the expenses. She wouldn't let me get involved. She helped me find The Husband, who is my perfect match. I am eternally grateful to her for that.

I am grateful to her and my Dad for bringing my brother and I up the way they have. I think they would be proud of how we have turned out.

My brother makes me glow with pride. He is the perfect gentleman - caring, responsible and wise. He is controlled and sensible in his dealings with the family, friends and I see his pals swear by him.

The little things he does - like on hearing of a classmates mom or dad passing away, he would quitely go and meet his friend and be there with him/her.

Speak at a condolence meeting for a teacher or relative or someone known to him.

Patiently answer all my Thakuma's queries about all the girls in his life... with a straight face.

Call me once a day to see how I was.

Buy a car and gift it to my mum and drive her old about-to-collapse car instead.

Surprise my Mum with a new television in her bedroom, especially after she had been watching TV for the past five years in only two colours.

Drop in and take me for a walk or a gellato, when the Husband was away on tour

Give the husband a searching and warning look whenever i seemed unhappy with something.

All these makes me so proud of him and the way he has turned out.

Once when I was visiting home just after the wedding, The Husband didn't think it important to call and speak with me everyday. It just didn't occur to him, now that i know him well enough. It was quite natural. He had lived alone for 28 years of his life without having to make such "missing you" phone calls.

My brother noticed my sad expression and spoke with his brother-in-law giving him a piece of his mind (this was a 20-year old talking to a 28-year old - mind you!), saying he hadn't seen his sister cry earlier and didn't expect to see her do so now that she was married.

I was so touched and The Husband was quite foxed, not knowing what to say. I think that talking to worked. I get called by the Husband multiple times during the day now and sometimes "Just to speak with you"... and it makes me so happy.

Thank you brother dear... And thank you mom for making us the way we are...